Today was my weigh in day at Weight Watchers. I was thrilled when I stepped on the scales and had another 1.8 lb loss. That brings me to a 47 lb loss so far.
I have to say that sounds like a lot of weight! Well, it should because 47 lbs is a lot of weight. I still have a lot more to go though. But, I'm going to make it this time to my goal weight. I know I will because things are different this time. I'm not in a hurry and I'm not on a diet.
I'm just changing the way I relate to food. Some days it's hard. Some days it's super easy. Sure I'll mess up now and then. So what! I just pick up where I left off.
But, I'm having a hard time in another area. I'm not sure to how to even start to work on that.
I've dropped down from a size 22 to a 14 and I even have one pair of pants that are a size 10. So I know I'm smaller.
I feel better too. So what's the problem you ask?
When I look at myself in the mirror or in photos I still look the same to myself. Like I have not lost anything really.
I've had lots of people tell me how much better I look and make remarks on how much I lost. I've even had two people start on Weight Watchers because they said I inspired them with my weight loss.
I was over at a friends house and her husband came up to me and said "You look really good. You have lost a lot of weight". Now I don't know if his wife told him I was on a diet or not but I do know he is not the type of guy who would say anything about a woman's weight if he didn't mean it.
Today in my meeting I sat next to a lady who I've never sat next to. She said she heard I lost over 45 lbs and was asking me questions on what I did to to that. She then said "How much more do you want to lose?". I told her about another 45 lbs.
Her eyes opened wide and said "Really? You sure don't look like you need to lose that much!".
It's nice to hear all these remarks and I start to think "Well, maybe I do look better". Then I see a photo and think "Everyone has lied to me! I'm still just as fat as always!"
I was thinking by summer I would be comfortable in a bathing suit in public but I feel like I'm really going to look like that lady in the photo above.
I've heard it sometimes takes time for your mind to catch up to your body. I don't know if this is true or not.
I've been fat my whole life. OK, not my whole life. I was born early and was only a tiny runt. But, by my 1st birthday I was one of those kids with rolls on my arms and legs and they have been there ever since.
A chubby kid! I was the one picked last when we had PE and teams were picked. I was at the end of the pack when we had to run around the field.
I had to shop in the "chubby" kids area. I was always bigger then my friends and classmates.
In high school, I was fat too. Though I look back now and wish I was that size. But, you know how teen girls are. Sticks! I was twice their size.
So, I'm used to seeing myself as the fat person. I've never been anything else. Maybe that is my problem.
Well, don't get me wrong. I know I'm still fat. Just maybe not as fat as I think I am.
I just don't understand that if that is true, then how come I see the same size person in photos of myself?
Has anyone else had this problem? If so, how did you get over it?
I was going to post a photo I took of myself on the first day I started Weight Watchers and one today so you could see for yourself what I look like. But, I don't have the first day photo because it was on my other computer and I have not gotten it put on to my new computer yet.