Wednesday, May 6, 2009

IS IT JUST ME?



Is it just me or do you also get comments left by anonymous people who says mean and/or hurtful things? They don't leave a way to reply to them because they hide behind the anonymous button.

This does not happen very often. In fact, since I've started my blog over a year ago, I've only had this happen twice. But, when it does it causes you to feel a bit violated. Like someone comes in your house, slaps you in the face and then runs away. You don't know who they are because they hide behind a mask.

Or have you ever gone to a blog and read something that upset you or totally bashed your beliefs and morals so you leave remark. You don't hide behind the anonymous button as you feel like what you have to say is worthy of a debate or discussion. Then the person writes you an email and tells you they have "rules" on their blog. The rule seems to be that unless you agree with what they have posted then you can not leave a comment. What?

Yes this happened to me. Someone posted several posts about how Christians are destroying the world. How Christians are taught to torture and kill. That because of Christians, the world is in the mess it's in today.
They claim there was a "study" done to back up the statements.

I posted that I disagreed with what they said and asked for a link to the "study". Of course I never did the link. Only told to keep my opinions to myself or I would be blocked.

What is with people and their hiding behind the computer? Why do people feel it's OK to say so many rude, hateful and disrespectful things just because you are not there in person? I don't get it?

I know there are many different people out there in Blogland and we don't all agree on the same things or believe in the same things. Yet, posting things with a lack of class or just to hurt a group of people is wrong.

Oh well, I guess it takes all kinds of people to make this world an interesting place.

I was just wondering if any of you have come across this behavior too, here in Blogland. I think it's sad and these people seem to want to take away the fun in blogging.

I know the best thing to do is to just ignore these people and I do but, sometimes words can really cut you deeply.

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17 comments:

Joyce said...

Oh Joanne.... I am so sorry this has happened to you~ we all know these people are !@#$%^& not only to leave nasty comments, but to then hide behind "anonymous"... sickening really~ I know it can be hurtful, but you just have to try your best to forget it and not let these @##$$%%&* get you down. Know how much we all enjoy your pretty blog, and that there are many here in "blogland" who love visiting you here!

Tracey said...

Joanne, I havne't had this done to me yet.. but I agree. I've gone to websites and if I don't agree, I just don't leave a comment. I feel that blogging is about positive, encouraging comments and I'll go back to the old saying.. if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all!!".. keep your chin up. These are people who are scared and uninformed about things and just want to bring down people to their level. Don't go there... rise above and with God's help,, you can. Have a great and wonderful Day!!Blessings to you..Tracey

Connie said...

Yep, I've seen them and embarrassed to say that I responded to a couple of them about how gutless they are. I generally don't allow anonymous comments on my blog but have on occasion approved them. They just don't get it. But I have to defend my beliefs or it wouldn't be "ME", sugar. I try to avoid them at all costs but sometimes it just grabs me by the throat and shakes me and then I have to give them my opinion. This does NOT happen often at all, but it's time we stood up for what we believe! Just be careful out there, chickee; it ain't purdy sometimes! :-)
xoxo,
Connie

Mumzie said...

Joanne,
I'm sorry this happened to you. I find it hard to believe that people would leave rude comments, but then again there are rude people in the world. I haven't experienced it yet, nor have I seen any posted on blogs. Can you delete these? I guess I better find out. Anyway, it's like Tracey just said in her comment,and my mom always said it too,"If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." Or, if you don't agree, leave a note and let's talk about it. I guess that's why someone invented the delete button.
PS: I always enjoy your blog. Mumzie

Anonymous said...

I am one of those anonymous people that leave comments on some of the blogs that I read simply for the reason I don't know how to get the choose idenity feature to work. I never leave nasty comments....and always at least sign with my name. If I could figure out how to include my email address properly, I would.
Brandon Cobs@aol.com

Susan said...

I've never had anyone leave rude comments but it does happen to others I know. Hopefully I won't get rude comments. Life's too short for people to be mean. They must be feeling mean and small and powerless to act that way.
Hugs, Susan

Debbie said...

Joanne...I was a victim of one of these "spams" just recently. It was anonymous as well. This person went on a rant and it was the longest comment I have ever seen! It took up my whole page and I was really pissed abou it. My husband who works on computers looked into it and when he could not get very far, just deleted the comment from my blog. Hey...there are nuts out there and they will try to eek into our lives one way or the other to get on their soapbox about something. I choose to ignore them and if it was to continue, I would disable my anonymous button. You mentioned other peoples blogs and varying opinions. There are MANY that I check out and decide I want NOTHING to do with. I may not like their platform...their shock and awe approach to things or their values differ from mine. They are entitled to their way of blogging, but I don't have to be along for the ride with them. I won't go into details here about the ones I dislike but I am sure you know some of your own. Great subject and I know others who have gotten spammed so you are not alone my friend.:)

Joanne Kennedy said...

I don't mind when someone disagrees with me or I disagree with them.

I don't normally let these people get to me when they are nasty. I figure when someone hides, hits and run they really don't matter anyway. For some reason last night I let this one person get to me. But, I'm over it today.

I don't mind a good debate. If someone wants to discuss something I'm up for that. I don't care if they disagree with me. I'm strong enough in my beliefs to know right from wrong.

But, when someone opens up a topic for discussion and it happens to bash the core of my being and I post my beliefs only to be told to shut up or agree that gets to me.

Oh well, enough venting from me, I've moved on.

Thanks to everyone who posts on my blog. I do not mind anonymous posters. That is why I allow them. I just mind when someone is rude and slams you then runs away.

A blog is an open public place and we risk running into these angry people but thankfully most are nice and respectful. So for that reason I will continue to blog.

Glenda said...

I have had it done to me a few times as well. I just think they have nothing better to do in their lives, so they sit and go through blog land a send zingers to people they don't know, or bother to know. It's usually a one time thing, although I have heard of people getting harassed on a daily basis.

I think if you chalk it up to them be closed minded then they won't bother you so much.


Ciao

Allidink said...

This is why I moderate my comments. Just in case. You never know, I've seen people get upset over something on someones blog that seemed so non-confrontational. I think if someone is having a bad day and comes on to blog they bring the bad attitude with them and look for places to complain..I don't know. But about the whole people being more mean because they are anonymous, yes it's true! And I have a real study to prove it LOL! One of my professors did a study about driving and how does anonymity in driving change our behavior. When you can't see the other person driving they are less real to us and less personal. So if they cut us off or slam on their brakes we feel no qualms about letting them have it. If we were to see these people let's say at a four way stop and we can see their faces make eye contact and they did something stupid, we are less likely to do anything to them because they know who we are! The same philosophy lies behind the mob mentality. People join mobs and act out in violence because of the anonymity of the mob. So these people feel no interpersonal connection and can't identify with the other blogger and leave mean things because they have no accountability. The best philosophy! They don't matter. In the whoooole scheme of life they just aren't important enough to care about. They are like a pesty bug, annoying but they don't matter. LOL

All the best,
Allison

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

Thanks for the "welcome back," Joanne! I have a lot to "catch up" to do! It was so much fun visiting my grandson.

I'm so sorry you had this bad blog experience. I've had mainly wonderful experiences on my blog and have met so many wonderful people, but I imagine some bad apples will pop up now and then. I think it's best to think of them as people who are just miserable, and use the delete button. If it continues use comment moderation for awhile.

Sares said...

I'm new to blogging and thank goodness I haven't had this happen to me. I can only imagine how hurtful it would be. I've often wondered if the bloggers that tell you your comment will be visible after the author has approved it, have encountered negative feedback as well, so they put in this safeguard. I guess there are people out there that are just mean. I wouldn't take it personally, I know it's probably hard though. I guess we just count our blessings for all the wonderful people that leave kind, encouraging and uplifting comments. Have a great day and don't let em' get you down!!!

Carolyn (Harbor Hon) said...

Yes, I just delete them and move on. No one has to agree with me, but I won't let them bash me either. There's just too much life to live to waste time trying to put someone down. Keep your chin up girly ... go with the flow. xxoo

SharDon Exclusives said...

Joanne, you obviously are making a "difference" or you would not have been singled out! Keep on keeping on...your blog is so refreshing & fun to read, don't stop because of one mean spirited person. They are important enough that we should keep them in our prayers in love...Sharon

Barb said...

Hi Joanne,

You know my feelings and this has happened more than once to me. Very sad that people don't have the courage to stand behind their words.
I still will get anonymous comments and if they are hurtful I usually don't put them through. The kids look at Grandma's blog and with so much hatred out there.....I don't feel they need to read it on my blog.

I feel sorry for those that have nothing better to do.

hugs,
Barb

Lynns Lovelies said...

Hi Joanne,
Oh I am so sorry that has happened to you. Fortunately I haven't experienced it yet.
There are those occasional cowards who feel better by putting someone else down. I learned that by posting in an Etsy forum...I choose to only look at blogs that appeal to me...There are so many things in life that are beyond are control, but what I choose to read is something I do have control over.
Take care and keep up your wonderful blog..you are an Exceptional treasure!!
Hugs,
Lynn

Lara Harris said...

I'm so sorry this happened to you...I made the mistake of turning down (gently) a request from an athiest to link to my blog and was ripped apart by the woman publicly on twitter, she lied and said I was rude to her, etc. etc. and then went on to rip apart my faith. Being a former Christian school teacher (now stay-at-home artist)I could not link to someone that was an athiest and promoting athiesm...I guess it is the small price we have to pay to stand up for what we believe in.
God bless you!:o)