Monday, May 19, 2008

MY 50th BIRTHDAY GIVE AWAY

Well on May 22nd I will be turning the big 50 and thought it would be fun if I was the one who gave the presents. So I thought a birthday give away would be just the thing to do.

Since my birthday is in May and my birth stone is Emerald I picked the color green.
First there is a darling vintage green depression glass cake plate. The pattern in Sunflower.
Then I'm adding four cute white vintage linen napkins trimmed in lace.
There is also a green handle vintage egg better. Remember them? Also a cookie cutter with a green handle. It's in the shape of a flower.
There is even a green glass vintage hat pin. This photo doesn't show it off very well.
Then you will get four cute vintage dessert plates with darling Green roses on them and trimmed in gold. Just in case you wanted to invite some friends over for tea and cake I'm also giving some sweet blank cards that can be turned into invitations.
This is a close up of the plates.
Now here are the rules. Rather then just sign up I figured I could use a few good laughs. So leave me a post with a joke. No matter how silly, dumb or corny it is. They you will be entered.
I will draw a name this Sat so hurry. Also, let your friends know about this give away and if they tell me you sent them then you get another entry.
Oh and don't forget the other give away I have going too. Scroll down to enter if you have not already done so.
Good luck everyone.
Hugs to you all,
Joanne

49 comments:

Joy said...

Very pretty gifts. I would love to enter.
How To Give a Cat a Bath Joke
Instructions on how to wash your toilet
1. Put both lids up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water.


2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the loud noises, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the here and the front door.

7. Standing behind as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out out, streak through the room and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,

The Dog

Flower said...

I had to stretch my brain for this one!! It's corny and short!!
I hope you enjoy the soup...it's a favorite with my kiddos.


If big elephants have big trunks, do small elephants have suitcases?

karlascottage.typepad.com said...

I just had my 50th too, May is the best time for a birthday! I don't own any emeralds, maybe I should take a clue from you and start collecting green glass, that would be a good substitute. I'm already green with envy over the cake plate! My best pal, who is a baker always serves her cakes on one exactly like that, it is so pretty.

Happy birthday!

karlascottage.typepad.com said...

Oh my, I don't know any jokes. I am one of those people who can't tell a joke to save their life, I get them all twisted around and mixed up and forget the punchline or else say it at the wrong time. I guess I am the joke myself!

ACottageIndustry said...

Happy early birthday! Sorry, I don't have a joke for you. (just wanted to wish you the best!)
Tracey

Joyce - Justified Journey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joyce - Justified Journey said...

I had to redo my comment. Sorry!! Happy 50th birthday to you! I celebrated mine two years ago in July and I just cannot believe it's two years already. I do not have a joke, but a funny little story. I fondly remember when my now 18 year old son was a sweet little boy of two. We were getting ready to go to the child development center at my worksite. It was a hot day in South Florida and I wanted him to wear a tank top. He looked at me with big brown eyes full of innocence and said, "But mommy, where will I wipe my nose?" Here's to a happy 50th and a wonderful year!!

Glenda~Many Fond Memories said...

Yah hooo 50

Well I have a year on ya.

Consider me entered on your give-away.

That cat wash post is a haha.

Ciao
Glenda

tales from an O.C. cottage said...

Oh! You are too much! Those plates are darling!

M^..^

Joanne Kennedy said...

Oh girls,

You don't really have to leave a joke to be entered. Just thought it would be fun to read some funny stuff if anyone had anything to share.

You are all included. This party is open to everyone!

Joanne

Kindra said...

Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Who.

Who? Who?

Is there an owl in here?

Sorry I have kids. I found your blog through The Cozy yellow house. Great giveaway!! Thank you. And happy early birthday!!

southerninspiration said...

What lovely green things you are showing! And HAPPY birthday. YOu are still young at heart! ;) Here's a joke for you....What do you call photographers who chase dogs???? Pup-arrazi AND A garden center customer picks up a container of insecticide and asks the salesperson, "Is this good for red ants?" "NO! the salesperson said, It'll kill 'em!!" ;)

Rhondi said...

Hi Joanne
Okay here's my corny joke.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Aaron
Aaron who?
Aaron on the side of caution.
Pretty bad huh?
What a great giveaway. I would love to win all those wonderful goodies!
Hope you have a great day.

diana said...

Happy Birthday to you !!!

Melissa @ The Inspired Room said...

Happy almost birthday! What a sweet gift to give away for your special day! I saw your name somewhere else and thought I would come by with my own birthday greeting for you!

Hmmm, a joke.

Knock Knock.

Who’s there?

Boo.

Boo who?

You don't have to cry about it!

Ok, well that was a lot funnier when I was 5.

Happy birthday!
Melissa

Deborah said...

You are kidding?!! I love that cake plate and the dessert plates!...and my kitchen is green!...no joke! hehehe!

I would love to enter your giveaway...and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

xoxoxo,
Deborah

Marilyn said...

Hi, Joanne! I discovered your blog through karlascottage and I'm glad I stopped by...what a lovely giveaway!!! I'd love to enter!
This tidbit was in an email I got from one of my daughters--I thought it was pretty funny:

"Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' .....Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!"

Have a most happy birthday!
Marilyn:)

Edie Marie's Attic said...

Hi Joanne!
Oh yes oh yes please count me in for your fabulous birthday giveaway!! And a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you sweet Joanne!
A Lame Joke if there ever was one:
Why can't a bicycle go as fast as a car? Because it's two tired! AR AR!
Hugs, Sherry

suzanne said...

HI THERE, IM NOT THAT GOOD WITH JOKES BUT I WILL TRY FOR YOU, HERE GOES----
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE A KLEENES DANCE? PUT A LITTLE BUGGEY IN IT!!!
SUZANNE

Betty Jo said...

Happy, Happy Birthday! Your giveaway is lovely and I would love to win those beauties. Thanks for dropping by and entering my giveaway. xoxo

A Lovely Thing said...

Okay, you asked for a corny joke, you got a corny joke. :)

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre.

After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of fuel.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and make such an obvious error, he replied, “Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.”

(And you thought I didn’t have De Gaulle to pass this on.) Well, I figured I had nothing Toulouse.

Mandii said...

Happy Birthday firstly!!
Secondly I share the same month so Green is one of my Fav colours!!
Ok I'd love to be entered, if Ive already missed closing day then have a laugh on me!!
Ok this one is a little hard to explain without doing in person
knock knock
who's there
Interupting cow
(while the peron is saying the next line as they start to say it shout MOO)
Interupting cow who?
Ok hard to imagine but try it and you have to really shout MOO as they are saying interupting cow who!!
This was a joke from a Target advert here in Australia a sweet little Girl said it so it made it even more funny!!
Anyway have a wonderful Birthday!!
mandii

Michele said...

Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday dear Joanne!
Happy birthday to you!!!

Happy 50th!!!!!

I LOVE the gifts you picked out! So pretty!!

Okay, my joke is actually a picture. Let's see if it will post or not:


Well, as you can see, it wouldn't let me post a picture. I'll be back with a different funny for you. By the way, I love this idea!!

I'm baaaack.....and here are a bunch of funnies for you! I hope they brighten your day!

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And last, but not least ...The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Happy Birthday!

Michele
luvkittywmeowmail@gmail.com

Thrifty Miss Priss said...

Happy Birthday! How sweet of you to be giving rather than receiving!

Gail McCormack said...

Oh goodness I think 50 is the best...well I've only been 50 for about 7 months and it seems good so far. Now for the joke...to be quite honest I can't think of a quirky short one I'd like to share, so here goes a sick one "Why did the chicken cross the road"?..."To get to the other side"...Warned you it was sick

KimmyJ said...

Beautiful giveaway, I'm "emerald" green with envy.
Here is a joke I heard on Top chef that my 7 year old loved.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Smell mop.
Smell mop who?
Get it sounds like "smell my poo".
7 year old boys love potty humor!

Lolly said...

Happy 50th!! What a fantastic and generous giveaway! I can never remember jokes, so here is one from my 7 year old niece....
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack. The first one said to the other," You stay here and I'll go on ahead. "
~Lolly

Renee Edington said...

Hi Joanne, Happy Birthday!!! Hope you have a great day.

Gayla said...

Oooh... These are lovely.. Please enter me in your sweet giveaway.

Kath said...

A very Happy 50th Birthday to you!!!

Well, as I am just horrible with jokes and could not think of one for anything...I went on a surfing adventure looking for just the right one. And considering the way my laptop has been working lately...this seemed quite appropriate. :~)

____________________________
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now writes error messages for Microsoft Corporation.
_____________________________

Too cute. lol
Blessings,
Kath

Pink Icing on the Cake said...

Hi Joanne,
Happy Birthday you young thing. I just turned 51 as you know. We are in a great club. Haha!!! Well aren't you sweet giving away presents on your birthday.

Hugs,
LeAnn:)

DivaDeb said...

Ok, so the executives from a huge Japanese automotive manufacturer were struggling to come up with a name for a new line of vehicles.

The execs all went to the manufacturing line to talk to the supervisor. They explained to him that they needed the cars off the line and ready to sell within a month.

The supervisor got a look of total shock on his face, and yelled 'You want dem dat soon?'

The executives smiled and said 'That's IT!'

Dat Soon - Datsun. Get it?

Is anyone else old enough to remember Datsun cars & trucks???

sigh. You said it could be a lame joke...... ;0) My band director (at Savanna High in Anaheim, BTW!) told us that. He was the master of Lame jokes!

I'd love to be entered in your giveaway, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

Donna Lynn said...

Put my name in the hat for those lovely things!
Here we go with the funny stuff!

If bread is square, why is lunch meat round?

If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?

Can you cry underwater?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where is that extra penny going anyway?

What did cured ham actually have?

That is the best I can come up with, hope your having a great day!
XO,
Donna Lynn

Diana Lyn said...

Hi Joanne, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HONEY!
50 Good for you! You Rock! I am right on your heals, Knockin on 50s door! I am not sad either I think it rocks! Your giveaway you are so kind to do that! I have not posted before, I was walking around and strolled on in and loved your blog, we are gonna have fun, stop by for tea sometime! as far as a joke, I am really bad at ever remembering them and it seems like when someone tells me one it is Long and Dirty! and Well I don't ever repeat those! :o( Have a nice Birthday anyway Hun! Big Pink Hugs Diana Lyn

ababe28 said...

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground Beef!!!

Happy Birthday!

ababe28(at)hotmail.(com)

Cindy's Red Door said...

A Hunting Trip with consequence!


Two business partners, Bob and Joe go on a Yearly hunting trip to the remote part of the timber laden land in Elk country. While on this hunting trip the weather changes for the worst and it starts to snow a blizzard. Well the two hunters start to look to take cover in a dry area until the snow ceases, just as they are about to give up, they both spot a cute lil house with smoke coming out the chimney. As the knock on the door a beautiful women comes to the door and they explain that they are seeking shelter, well the woman replies that she is a very well respected woman in this small town and that if her neighbors or others in the community would see these two men leaving her house that she would be disgraced beyond repair, they then asked her if they slept in the well house and leave way before dawn ,would she agree to give them shelter, "well if you are sure you will be gone by sun up then......OK",
Well the whole hunting trip goes off with out a flaw and then Nine months later, Joe gets a register letter in the mail concerning the beautiful women that they meet on the trip. After opening the letter;
Joe calls Bob in his office and Ask "Bob did you sneak into that woman's house in the middle night and sleep with her and then claim that you were ME?" Yes Joe, I did why do you ask and am I in trouble?????
No Bob the beauty woman has died and has claimed that Joe gave her sooooo much that night that she wanted to leave her entire million dollar inheritance to him which is ME!

love Cindy

Katy Lin :) said...

Hi! I'm new here, but your items are so gorgeous I couldn't resist entering! My joke is more cute than funny! Enjoy, and have a very happy birthday!!!

Six-year old Angie, and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church.

Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud.

Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You''re not supposed to talk out loud in church."

"Why? Who''s going to stop me?" Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're Hushers."

diana said...

hah! today I was on fifi's blog and she says..... a year older... a year wilder !! ya gotta love it !

Anonymous said...

Hi Joanne,

TANTI AUGURI!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Ciao, Helena (helma69@interfree.it)

Anonymous said...

COUNT ME IN!racefankellen@verizon.net

maggie said...

What a wonderful giveaway! I'd love to win each and every item. They're all great and my favourite colour. And Happy Big 50 to you. I celebrated mine almost five years ago and I can't believe how fast the time has gone.

Penny @ Lavender Hill Studio said...

Would love to win your birthday giveaway! Here is my joke:

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older gent suggested the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to the new doctor.

At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach." The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?"

As they left the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that woman. How'd you come to your diagnosis so quickly?"

"I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what was probably making her sick."

"Huh," the younger doctor said, "pretty sneaky. I think I'll try that at the next house."

Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with another woman. She complained that she just didn't have the energy she once did, "I'm feeling terribly run down lately."

You've probably been doing too much work for the church," the younger doctor told her. "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps."

As they left, the elder doc said, "Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?"

"Well, just like you at the last house, I dropped my stethoscope. When I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed."

ceekay said...

Happy Birthday! Been to 50 and beyond! I would love it if you would include me in your wonderful giveaway.

Donna Kay said...

WHEN WE ARE OLDER GAMES
1. Sag, you're It.

2. Hide and go pee.

3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.

4. Kick the bucket

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.

6. Musical recliners.

7. Simon says something incoherent.

8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy

Just ran across you blog - have bookmarked it and will be back for more - love your projects!!!!

Donna Kay said...

Oh yes, and by the way - I will be 50 on June 3 - so we are only weeks apara - and I loved reading your memories - I have the same ones.
Happy Birthday!!!!

Rebekah said...

Q: Where is the best place to eat a salad?

A: In a dressing room!



Green is my favorite color, so if I were to win your drawing I'd be on cloud nine :) Love your blog!

sea mystery said...

My favorite joke is:
The children were having a Christmas pageant and one child was chosen to light a candle to simulate the star. As the conductor had the children sing, "And the angel lit the candle." Nothing happened behind the curtain. So the conductor had the children sing louder, "AND THE ANGEL LIT THE CANDLE." Just then a small voice sings from behind the curtain, "But the cat peed on the matches."

This has always been my favorite joke and I hope you enjoyed it too. The items you chose are just lovely and I would like a chance to win. Thank you for hostessing this contest. And happy 50th! xxoo

dolls123 said...

"Doctor, I seem to get heartburn whenever I eat birthday cake."
"Have you tried removing the candles first?"

dolls123[at]gmail[dot]com

Susie Harris said...

Hope Im not too late to enter... Why did the cat cross the road? To get to the other side,,,, sorry. I couldnt think of anything,,, Susie H