I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE UP

Remember the old saying "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!"?  Well, that's what I'm doing.

I'm giving Weight Watchers another try.  I know it works.  I've done it several times.  Then I quit for one reason or another and I gain the weight back.

I lost about 50 lbs last time I was on Weight Watchers.  Then I got lazy and decided I could do it on my own and the next thing I know, it's almost a year later and I've gained 40 lbs back.  YIKES!

So today I went to a meeting, signed up, paid my money and got back on that scale. 

Rather then looking at it like I gained 40 of the 50lbs back, I'm looking at it like "Hey, I still am 10 lbs lighter then the last time I joined!".

I've been over weight my whole life.  Well, at least since my first birthday, I know I was.  I don't have any pictures of me before that.  Guess by the time I came along, the youngest of 5 kids,  pictures were not a high priority. 

Of course we didn't have cameras like today.  They were the cameras that took film, you had to be sure you not only had film in the camera but also flash bulbs.  Then you had to get the film developed,  wait about a week or so to get your pictures and hopefully some came out 1/2 way clear. 

Anyway, back to me being overweight my whole life, as a kid I was chubby.  Though back then I felt down right fat.  I was always the biggest kid in my class.  Though, I can't remember anyone ever making fun of me being fat.  I was not teased in school. 

I was however, always one of the last ones picked when it came to sports at PE time.  I would just act like it didn't bother me, but of course, it did.

Then there was high school.  I would kill to be the size I was in high school now, but, for a young teen age girl, I was fat.

I remember really hating having to get dressed for PE. At our school they color coded the shorts and swimsuits by your size. So everyone...yes, even the boys, knew what size you were. Talk about traumatizing!

I'll never forget I had dark blue. Very few of us would be out there with dark blue on. Most girls had black or green. Some of the really thin girls had red.

I'm so happy they no longer do this to young girls. Life is hard enough without having to prance around school in a pair of shorts that yell to the world "I'M FAT!".

I can remember doing Weight Watchers even back then.  That was when they made you eat fish a few times a week (I've always hated fish) and liver once a week.  YUCK!

They had some really silly recipes back then too because they didn't have all the low cal, low fat, low carb foods they do now. 

One I remember was a "breakfast danish".  You took a piece of white bread toast, then added some cottage cheese that was mixed with cinnamon and saccharin.  Then you stuck it under the broiler.  That was it.

Funny to think we used to think it was so good.  Little did we know.

Today there are so many really good foods out there that we don't need to pretend something is good. 

At my age, I really no longer care about what others think of me.  However, I do know I don't feel good being so overweight.  Plus, it's not good for my health and at my age, you think about your health more then teenagers do.

So, I'm back to watching what I eat, weighing in weekly, trying to get more exercise in and I know by doing that the scale will go down, down, down. 

Sure, I've been here before.  Many times.  But, I'm not going to give up.  I'm going to try, try again.